Dear Andrea Csilla,

Last month, I spoke with a client who said:

“I say yes to everything — because I want to be seen as reliable. But I’m constantly behind, and it’s making me feel like I’m failing anyway.”

She was overcommitted.
Overwhelmed.
And ironically... underperforming.

She didn’t need more productivity tools.
She needed a new relationship with boundaries.

🧠 Why “Yes” Can Be a Stress Response

From a biological perspective, always saying yes is often not a sign of generosity —
It’s a sign of chronic stress activation.

When you’re in a heightened cortisol state, your brain seeks safety in approval, belonging, and short-term avoidance of conflict.
So you say yes — even when you mean no.
You overbook. You overextend. You override your limits.

In the moment, it feels like control.
Later, it feels like chaos.

🧪 The Science

Studies show that people under chronic cognitive load (especially from multitasking, interruptions, and deadline pressure) are more likely to default to automatic social behaviors — including excessive compliance (Baumeister et al., 2007).

This pattern is not sustainable.
It’s not kind.
And it’s not productive.

💡 Doctor’s Tip: Build Boundaries that Build Trust

Here’s what I help clients implement — without guilt:

✅ Clarify what you actually deliver best (not just what you could say yes to)
✅ Use “calendar buffers” to avoid back-to-back yeses
✅ Respond to requests with:
 “I want to give this the attention it deserves — but I can’t say yes right now.”
✅ Track how you feel after each yes — clarity? relief? regret?

Saying no isn’t selfish.
It’s a form of integrity.

🎯 Overcommitting is a form of self-sabotage — disguised as reliability.

When you protect your energy,
You protect your best work.
And the people who count on you will thank you for it.

Protect your focus. Protect your health.

👉 Want help creating boundaries that work with your nervous system — not against it? Book a free 30-minute Team Productivity & Well-Being Strategy Session

📚 References

• Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2007). Ego depletion and self-regulation failure: A resource model of control. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 1(1), 115–128.

   

  Have a productive day!

  Andrea

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